You may be a big fish in a little pond, but the internet has softened the boundaries of the ponds we occupy.

Does this mean we need to compare ourselves to all the other fish in the world? No.

But it does challenge us to know what’s going on elsewhere. To lift our head up once in a while to see what others are doing. To learn from the best in our fields of interest. To engage with other thought leaders.

If we don’t — if all we ever see is what’s in our little pond — we’re cheating ourselves out of our greatest potential.

There comes a time when, “Why isn’t anyone doing anything about this?” must transition to, “Why am I not doing anything about this?”

And once we ourselves take action, the conversation can turn to, “What are we doing?” and, “What else should we be doing?”

When we take these steps, we move beyond a victim mindset and into a place of empowerment and possibility.

Sometimes we like to flip to the end of the book to see what happens.

Or we fast forward to the end of a show. Maybe we skip ahead in a series.

All perfectly fine to do.

But let’s not make the mistake of carrying that into our lives ... of trying to rush to the next chapter.

The chapter you’re in right now? It’s important. Give it its due.

What’s your excuse? We all have them.

• It’s too hard.

• I don’t have the money.

• I don’t have the time.

• I don’t have the expertise.

• There’s a technical problem.

• The logistics are too complicated.

• They won’t let me.

• It’s too risky.

• …

Whatever the excuse is, ask yourself, “Is this really true? And if so, is there no way around it?”

The biggest challenge is not the roadblock. The biggest challenge is being honest with ourselves about what’s truly holding us back.

We spend a lot of time checking email, voicemail, social media, mailboxes, and all sorts of other things.

We don’t spend nearly as much time checking ourselves.

Sure, we look in the mirror. But how often do we do a self check-in?

How do I feel, right now? What is my body telling me? What is my mind telling me? What are my emotions telling me?

If we’re not doing this regularly, who knows ... we might have quite a few unread messages.

You can start again without burning everything to the ground.

You can begin once more without destroying what exists today.

You can build from here without razing anything except your own hesitation.

If it’s time to reboot something in your life ... then flip the switch and go for it.

So many times, we seek to change our circumstances ... to change what’s happening around us ... to change the system.

These are good struggles and we shouldn’t stop.

But it’s important to remember that we are part of the equation, and sometimes, the best thing to do is to change ourselves.

It’s much easier to be the person asking, “Why don’t they do something to fix it?” than it is to be the person whose job it would be to do the fixing.

The world isn’t lacking people who shake their heads and ask, “Why is this happening?”

The world is lacking people who are willing to work through the difficult challenge of, “What do we do now?”

“Slow down. It’s not a race.”

This is a phrase parents sometimes say to children when a task is being completed hastily, or there’s unnecessary rushing.

From time to time, it’s good, too, to ask ourselves: Where are the areas we race ... when it’s not a race? Where we compete ... when it’s not a competition?

And in those places, how can we remind ourselves to slow down and to dial it back?

After all ... not everything is a race.

Attire sends a signal.

• I’m serious about my job.

• I’m relaxing.

• I care about fashion.

• I’m formal, but not too formal.

• I belong to a certain group of people.

Depending on who you are and what you do, clothing choices can be significant.

But it’s important to remember that these uniforms are little more than decoration.

The actual work is what matters. Your shirt and tie may prompt a certain social dynamic, but it doesn’t gift you with business acumen … just as a mock turtleneck doesn’t mean you’re an effective tech leader, and a whistle doesn’t make you an effective sports coach.

We can choose to dress the part if we want, but playing the part — doing the job that’s required — that’s what really matters.

If you’ve lead a caravan of automobiles, you know: keep an eye on those who follow. Use turn signals. Don’t speed through traffic lights which are about to turn red. Allow the group to keep up, but don’t drive so slowly that you create a traffic jam. Set the pace and be decisive.

These guidelines work well on the road, but they can just as easily be applied to offices, organizations, and families.

When we lead, we have to know our followers. To know where they are and to communicate clearly, “This is the way to go. Follow me.”

We have individual experiences and individual memories. Our own perspectives. Our own stories.

But we also have shared experiences and shared memories. And those memories of triumph and challenge — of laughter and tears — there’s something magical about those memories. It’s the idea of “I remember …” being met by “I remember that too!”

It’s not what we remember alone, but what we remember together that strengthens bonds, and nurtures lifelong friendships.

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? And the last thing before you fall asleep?

For many of us, it’s related to our smartphones. Checking email. Scrolling social media. Reading the news.

What does that say about what we value? What signals are we sending ourselves ... both clear and disguised?

If we were to instead start and end our days with a small, intentional practice that aligns with the person we’d like to be — with the best version of ourselves — what would that look like? And what might that do for us in the long run?

Think about what you’re saying. That’s one important thing to do.

But the other part ... the bigger part ... is to think about what you’re thinking.

Why am I thinking this? What does it say about me, where I am, where I’m going, and what I’m trying to accomplish?

What happens when someone screws up and we are affected?

How do we respond when we’re negatively impacted by someone else’s actions?

Often, it has to do with how we interpret the other person’s intention. Whether they had been careful or careless. Whether they are cavalier or apologetic.

And more deeply, whether we can step into their shoes and understand what happened from their perspective. Whether we try to empathize.

When we can see the world from someone else’s side of an issue — or at least try to — we’re much less likely to shout and scream when things don’t go our way. It’s not to say that we won’t be upset or hurt … but we might be able to understand (if but a little) and accept the situation with grace.

You can’t hope things into compliance. If you want something done a certain way — and you're in charge — you need to communicate your expectations.

If it’s procedurally critical or critical because it’s important enough to you ... then put some rules in place. Solicit cooperation.

And if it’s not worth setting a protocol, then it’s probably more trivial than you once thought. Maybe not worth being annoyed in the first place.

How can we say “thank you” without using words? Without material goods? Without gift?

How can we express our thanks through our actions? Our gratitude through what we do ... seen, and unseen?

Our words might be the beginning. But it’s what we do that brings the expression to its fullest height.

From time to time, we decouple ourselves from things we’ve kept in storage. We realize, “I’ll never use this. Why am I holding on to it?” and we take determined steps to donate, sell, or discard the items. It’s liberating. It’s cathartic.

We can do this with other things too. A grudge. A regret. An unhelpful narrative.

We can ask ourselves, “Why am I holding on to this? This is not useful to me.”

And then we can give ourselves permission to loosen the bond. To let it go, and to move on ... liberated.

Where are you seeking acknowledgment ... and not being acknowledged?

Where are you wanting credit ... and not getting credit?

The deeper question is more important: what’s behind that desire? And why does it bother you so much when it’s unfulfilled?

Addressing those questions might help to alleviate some frustration, and you might gain a better understanding of yourself in the process.

If you want a workplace where people say “hello!” to each other when they arrive, then start by saying “hello” to people.

If you want your neighborhood to be the kind of place where people check in on the elderly, befriend the widower who lives down the way.

If you want your children to live in a household filled with music and laughter, put on some music and lighten your heart.

The culture we seek is perhaps not so far from our grasp ... but often, we have to take the first steps.