Years ago, my brother and I were working with two other people to unload dozens of 4 x 8-foot panels of melamine-faced particle board. These panels weighed 95 pounds apiece, and we paired off to carry them from the truck into the job site.

As my brother and I worked together, we unloaded the sheets the same way each time. Our hands and carrying positions did not change from sheet to sheet. Our individual roles stayed constant.

The other pair varied their methods. Sometimes they carried on their right side. Sometimes their left. Sometimes one person was in front. Sometimes the other. Forward facing ... backward facing. They made a choice each time they approached the truck bay.

One pair worked efficiently. The other did not.

I’ve carried that lesson with me. When faced with a task involving repetition, find a good way to do it — the best way you know how — and then do it that way consistently.

Don’t solve a puzzle multiple times when you only need to solve it once.

Sometimes something happens, and we think, “This is terrible. All is lost.”

And indeed, we do experience setbacks, tragedy, and loss.

But there are also times when we can step back and look at our situation through a wider lens.

In some times of trial — maybe many of them — we can find ways to see setbacks as setups to bigger and better things. Like fire that destroys, but also makes way for new life … some of our darkest moments are followed by beauty, light, and opportunity.

It’s all moving forward and if you’re standing still, you’re falling behind.

Make a plan. Set a goal. Consciously be un-stuck.

But don’t just think about what you’ll accomplish in the future ...

Consider this: what are you learning today that will help you tomorrow?

I ran into a friendly acquaintance last week.

He greeted me warmly: “Hey! What’s new?”

“Nothing much.”

Smiling, he said, “Come on, man. Give me something.”

So I answered honestly, and a great conversation followed.

* * *

The interaction was memorable and it reminded me: some people ask questions with intention. When they say, “How are you?” or “What’s going on?” ... they actually want to know.

I’m grateful to have such friends, and it’s the friend I try to be.

When we consider the idea of giving ourselves permission, it’s often about letting ourselves relax or indulge.

But we can give ourselves permission for all sorts of things. The permission to be bold. The permission to be excellent. The permission to speak up. The permission to make change. The permission to try something that might not work.

Many times, we don’t need someone else’s permission; we need our own.

As I reached to put on a pair of reading glasses, I was surprised to see how many smudges were on the lenses. Hadn’t I just been wearing these, minutes before?

A quick bit of lens-wiping later and the glasses were crystal clear.

* * *

It’s not as easy to check, but our vision can get smudged too. Our worldview. Our perspective.

It happens so gradually, that we might not even notice.

But how can we bring more clarity to what we see in the world?

It starts by recognizing the smudges on our lens.

A group without dissent is not the same as a group in agreement. Conflict avoidance is the easier path and people will often choose it over speaking up.

But as leaders, we can cultivate a different dynamic. We can prioritize engagement and candor. We can seek consensus and enrollment. And instead of pushing an agenda, we can turn on lights to reveal a vision and a path.

Then … it’s not, “blindly walk behind me,” but rather, “let’s run together with eyes open.”

If you’re affixing a permanent, visible object — like a sticker or a label — place it carefully.

Not because it really matters, but because it communicates thoughtfulness and deliberate action. It’s a signal.

If your intention is to be casual, then have at it. Slap it on breezily.

But if it “wants” to be aligned, make sure that it’s done that way.

“That was supposed to be straight, but it’s crooked instead,” is only charming in kindergarten and Pisa.

In an elevator, everyone travels at the same rate. There’s no option except to stand still.

Escalators are different. You can stand still. But if you want, you can continue to climb while the apparatus doubles your progress.

* * *

Some tools have a fixed pace while others multiply our efforts.

The important point is, we don’t need to have an elevator mentality when we’re in an escalator situation.

If people are expecting your arrival (or the arrival of a shipment) ... and you’re going to be late ... you usually have a choice: let them know you’ll be late, or just arrive late.

On-time arrival might be out of your control. Nothing you can do.

But communication — courtesy — is something you can control.

When someone is late, it’s a frustration. When someone is late and silent on the matter, it compounds the error.

Instead, do the uncomfortable thing and let them know before it happens.

My son has been asking a lot of questions about the lines on roads. Broken versus solid. Yellow versus white. Single versus double.

As we reviewed the meaning of the various marks, he said, “But we could cross that line in an emergency, right?”

“In an emergency, yes. Of course.”

This brings up much larger questions, and they extend beyond driving. When do situations rise to “emergency level” and when do they merit breaking the rules?

• Is getting to the hospital an emergency?

• Is needing to pass a history exam an emergency?

• Is running late for a soccer game an emergency?

• Is wanting to buy a new smartphone an emergency?

• Is the availability of a fresh-baked cronut an emergency?

When do we break the rules — the rules of law, as well as those we’ve set up for ourselves?

And it’s worth asking: does this situation call for breaking the rules, or do I just want to break the rules?

Being a good host has less to do with what you offer your guests, and more to do with how you give what you have to offer.

A warm smile. A welcoming spirit. A generous, “Please: what can get you to drink?”

However the kindness is expressed, good hosts are intentional and thoughtful.

The result? Easy conversation and natural connection … just as the host had planned.

It’s not a good idea to spray paint or to create dust in a small, enclosed space; the concentration of fumes and particles is hazardous.

Outside, however, those same fumes and particles disperse quickly.

The ideas that we put into the world operate in a slightly different way.

Dispersion of a message is good, but concentration is better. Reaching a receptive audience in an impactful way ... that kind of concentration isn’t hazardous; it’s the goal, and it’s what makes change happen.

I’m near the finish line of a long-term cabinet project. As I bring the piece to completion, I’ve been thinking about the tension between unfinished and finished.

Unfinished work is full of potential. It has hope and promise. A work-in-progress still has the possibility of being flawless in its completed state.

Finished work, however, is finalized. Its strengths and weaknesses are frozen in time. The shortcomings will not be corrected.

Can fear of the imperfect keep us from bringing projects to a close? Maybe. But we can’t let that fear be the governor.

Perfect or imperfect, we have to ship. We have to complete projects. To let them live ... and let them be ... and move on to the next endeavor with confidence.

Our lives stem from the hard work of prior generations. In part, a reward for their grit.

Countless people made sacrifices — directly and indirectly — sacrifices that have given us life, freedom, and opportunity.

How do we live our lives in such a way that honors those selfless acts?

And now that we’re part of this long lineage, what will be our gift to the generations that follow?

When we don’t know the full story, it’s natural for us to fill in the blanks. This tends to happen a lot with casual acquaintances. We know a few things about a person and then we make a whole bunch of assumptions.

Over time, if we’re not careful, we might begin to conflate the two. That is, we’ll treat “what we know about a person” and “what we think we know about a person” as the same thing.

Two things we can do:

One, be conscious. Know the difference between things we’ve learned about someone … and narratives we’ve invented.

And two, be curious. Ask questions. Have a conversation. Actually get to know the person. Turns out, first-hand knowledge is a great way to keep assumptions in check.

Once you allow yourself to cheat (perhaps because the circumstances are so challenging, and after all ... it’s just this once and you’re a good person and it’s not the biggest deal in the world and other people do it) the more likely it is that you’ll cheat again.

When you bring cheating into the equation — even just once — you’ve told yourself that it’s now an option. That in special situations, it’s something you can do.

But once you break that seal … the next time, the threshold will be lower. And then lower after that. Until it’s more of a regular thing than “just this once”.

Best to not start cheating.

Ever.

Recently, I was in the outside lane of a highway when the tractor trailer in front of me began to slow unexpectedly. As soon as this happened, cars behind me began moving into the inside lane to pass. As they did, I had no ability to move over. For a while, I was stuck behind the truck as other cars — from much farther back — were able to easily maneuver and pass.

This made me think. Sometimes, when you’re close to the front of the pack, you might be in situations where there’s limited mobility.

And during those times, it’s the people in the back who have flexibility and line of sight … and the ability to choose a more efficient path.

Being near the front can be good, but coming from behind can have its advantages too.

Before we go out — to an event, for instance — we spend time getting ready. Showering. Dressing. Grooming. We check the mirror. Maybe even ask someone, “How do I look?”

But for all the time we take to prepare our physical appearance, how much attention do we give to what’s happening on the inside? Preparing our attitude? Preparing our intention?

We consider, “Here’s how I want to look.”

Do we also consider, “Here’s how I want to engage,” or “Here’s how I want to be kind,” or “Here’s how I want to be fully present.”?

Getting ready isn’t just about how we plan to look. It’s also about how we plan to be.

You don’t need a cup of coffee; you need a conversation with a friend who believes in you.

When someone supports you ... when they have faith in your dreams ... when they want you to succeed ... it helps to light a fire. It adds to your internal flame. It reignites what has died down.

Feeling tired or unmotivated? Talk to someone who wants you to achieve your goals.

But watch out: you might just do something great afterwards.