Every so often, make a visible personal change. Dress in a new way. Style your hair differently. Try some unusual glasses.

Why? Because small, voluntary adjustments remind us of our ability to grow and change. They’re subtle signals — to others, maybe, but mostly to ourselves — that we can inhabit many varied roles. Outward signs of our skilled inner author, editor, and director.

A young man greeted the pet shop owner saying, “I’m looking for the bunnies my girlfriend and I were looking at three weeks ago.”

The owner pointed and said, “These are the bunnies.”

The man, confused, reiterated: he was looking for the smaller bunnies. From a few weeks ago.

The owner pointed more emphatically: “These are the bunnies.”

* * *

The young man’s puzzlement was amusing.

But we can be just as easily forgetful. Children grow, towns change, cities evolve, the culture shifts, people reinvent themselves. We know this to be true — that change is constant — and yet it can surprise us.

What’s more unusual, really, are the things that stay the same.

H/T Erin

If you’re lucky enough to have successfully traversed a difficult journey, who do you call? An artist or a cartographer?

Do you hire someone to paint your portrait? Or do you hire someone to draw the map?

Is the endeavor about memorializing your accomplishments? Or your ability to help those who might follow in your footsteps?

You get to choose. Will it be a portrait or a map?

The thing is, if you create a valuable enough map, someone’s going to want to tell your story. There might be a portrait in it after all.

Every so often, I survey my tools, my art supplies, and the things I’ve created — and I remind myself: one day, all of this will pass away.

Perhaps tomorrow. Perhaps many decades from now.

But to be sure, one day.

It’s not a happy thought and I don’t dwell on it, but neither do I deny it. Instead, I allow it to prompt the simple question: What now?

It is our persistent consideration. We have no right to tomorrow. We cannot hold a reservation. Our future opportunities are not guaranteed.

We have today. Our present creativity. The spark of now.

It’s not to save. It’s not to shelve. It won’t keep.

The moment is now … and we live it not through rumination and worry, but through action. With full hearts, clear intention, and generous action.

Rehearse your script as you will. Mentally write and re-write. Consider what you might say and how it might land.

But the further you extrapolate, the more you try to predict … the greater your margin of error.

Remember: as soon as you speak up — as soon as you take a single step — the landscape changes.

We can plan a conversation, but our voice — once spoken — changes the calculus.

What you had once aimed for might not be attainable today — but maybe it can rhyme with what you once sought to do.

Same posture, different venue.
Same passion, different field.
Same love, different role.
Same spirit, different context.

The landscape may change, but our inner drive can still endure.

The old dream may have passed, but a new dream can rhyme.

When we have a great day, it’s not because everything happens in just the right way; it has more to do with where we’re paying attention.

We can have a bad day in much the same way.

Attending here, ignoring there … our experience is always a result of how we manage these options.

The tools of text and email:

“Unsubscribe”
“Delete and Report Junk”
“Move to Spam”
“Stop”

Unfortunately, our personal interactions don’t offer these simple features. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have our filters tuned.

It’s not always an easy thing to do, but we would do well to disengage from some conversations. To archive some experiences. To swiftly delete some opportunities.

Junk and spam aren’t limited to inboxes. Subtle versions can find us in lots of ways.

Be wary. Sort appropriately when practical.

“I think I understand what you mean. Could you please explain it a little more?”
“What I hear you saying is […]. Is that right?”
“I want to make sure I understand what you’re saying. Can you please say it again?”

This is the posture of empathy. Of curiosity. Of connection.

Not of judgement, arrogance, and manipulation.

Pause. Listen. Listen again. Clarify.

Conversation isn’t you sharing something from behind your wall and me sharing something from behind mine.

It’s us meeting in the courtyard together … speaking plainly about what we bring to that space.

Try something. Try it again. And again.

This can be a method for iterative improvement.

But often, we think of this as being a quick, sequential process (which can certainly work).

However, there’s merit to a delayed repeat. To rediscovering the archives and bringing a new approach to creative problems we solved and have since shelved.

A certain meal. A photoshoot. A composition. A sculpture. A workshop.

Perhaps you completed it long ago. How might you do it today? What new skills and experience can you bring to the problem now … that you couldn’t have brought when you first solved it? What new energy can you bring to old projects?

Delayed repeats. They could be fun to explore.

You can spend a lifetime prioritizing safety and security. But the world comes alive when you consciously and selectively loosen your grip on the two.

In challenging moments, our reactions are often based on what we’re thinking and what we’re feeling.

It’s a good practice to pause and to identify these thoughts and feelings by asking:

“What am I feeling right now?” (and what’s that like?)
“What am I thinking right now?” (and is this true?)

But as soon as we can, it’s helpful to make the transition to a new line of questions:

“What am I learning here?”
“What’s this moment teaching me?”

And our focus naturally shifts from how we’ve been injured to how we’re growing. From how we’ve been unsettled to how we see through the settling silt.

If we’re trying to optimize our day, we can track our movement to the minute. We can plan in tidy blocks that segment our activities in the most productive way.

But there are a lot of necessary elements that are easy to overlook:

Transition. Breath. Interruption. Surprise. Distraction. Wonder. Reset.

We don’t pencil these in, but they’re important nonetheless. They keep the scheduling lines fuzzy, and they’re as relevant as anything else on the slate. Expect them. At times, even embrace them.

I’ve set some new weekly fitness goals this year. So far, five weeks in, I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.

I’ve discovered, however, that none of the weeks have followed the planned schedule. All the weekly goals have been met, but always with some kind of improvisation.

It’s a good reminder: things rarely go as planned. And getting the job done doesn’t always happen by following the original program.

Goals aren’t achieved through rigidity, but through our ability to regain our bearings when we’ve been pushed off track.

Whether relationships, ideas, dreams, or visions —

we cannot wait for them to be fully formed.

Supple, fresh, loosely-defined … that’s where we begin.

To wait for perfect realization is to wait indefinitely.

Fear can accompany any significant change. The unknown is just that: unknown. We can be excited about the unknown or we can be apprehensive.

In weighing potential futures, if the needle shifts too far toward anticipating negative outcomes rather than positive, we begin to layer ourselves with little bits of fear. Understandably.

The next chapter is always new; it’s not one we’ve read.

But the key isn’t in working to become better predictors of the future. Rather, it’s in cultivating trust in ourselves that we can handle whatever comes next.

Recall the parable of the lumberjack. If his life depended on his ability to cut down a tree in five minutes, he’d spend the first three minutes sharpening his axe.

It’s a useful and well-told story about preparation.

We might also imagine — under pressure of such dire consequences — the lumberjack panicking for the first few minutes. Or hastily sharpening for thirty seconds before diving into the act of vigorous chopping.

Three minutes. Sixty percent. It would take a great deal of discipline. Can you imagine the half-way mark? Two-and-a-half minutes in, and zero progress on the tree itself?

But we understand the principle. The sharpening is what enables efficient cutting. The preparation is in service of eventual action.

Whether the pressure is high or low, how we prepare lays the groundwork for how we might perform.

Be patient in your sharpening.

This is a thought from James Clear. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a read:

“I think about decisions in three ways: hats, haircuts, and tattoos.

“Most decisions are like hats. Try one and if you don’t like it, put it back and try another. The cost of a mistake is low, so move quickly and try a bunch of hats.

“Some decisions are like haircuts. You can fix a bad one, but it won’t be quick and you might feel foolish for awhile. That said, don’t be scared of a bad haircut. Trying something new is usually a risk worth taking. If it doesn’t work out, by this time next year you will have moved on and so will everyone else.

“A few decisions are like tattoos. Once you make them, you have to live with them. Some mistakes are irreversible. Maybe you’ll move on for a moment, but then you’ll glance in the mirror and be reminded of that choice all over again. Even years later, the decision leaves a mark. When you’re dealing with an irreversible choice, move slowly and think carefully.”

Thanks for the insight, James. Well said.

Over the next few months, my friend Kevin will run in a half-dozen races. 50 km. 100 km. Long, challenging races. With this schedule, he trains steadily.

“I don’t win these races. I enter them because I need goals. Something has to get me out there running when it’s cold and raining.”

We can learn from Kevin’s example.

Make some commitments that will prompt you to set some goals … which will lead you to establish healthy habits.

Figure out how to keep some tension in the equation so that when it’s your version of cold and raining, you still have reason to continue the practice.

Years ago, my now-wife and I visited a florist to choose flowers for our wedding. As we looked through the displays, catalogs, and examples, we remarked, “These are pretty. And these are pretty. Oh, and these are pretty too.”

It didn’t take long for us to realize: they’re flowers. They’re all pretty.

We couldn’t simply choose by a process of elimination. We would have to choose from among many beautiful options.

Life, generally, is similar. We will always have important things to do. Moreover, the important things will always outnumber our capacity. That is, from among all the important things we could do, we will have to say “yes” to some and “no” to many. Even to worthy causes.

And of course, saying “no” to worthy causes doesn’t feel good. But we can remind ourselves: when we say “no” to something, it’s in service of our commitment to something else.

We can’t commit to every good and worthy thing. But we can be intentional about the commitments we do make.