Every so often, it’s good to step back from your hopes, desires, goals, and dreams.

Ask yourself, “Are these my own?”

If the answer is a resounding yes, then you’re good to go.

But if you find that you’re chasing a dream that’s not yours — perhaps it belongs to your friends, your colleagues, your neighbors, or popular culture — then you might have some thinking to do.

Follow your dreams; just make sure they’re yours.

A friend tells this story about a company where he used to work:

“I went into the room where we were supposed to have the Board of Directors meeting, and someone had removed all the chairs. Purposely. We were finished in thirty minutes. It was the most efficient board meeting we ever had.”

* * *

When we’re uncomfortable — or just not too comfortable — we have a way of stripping away the fluff and getting down to business.

Mick and Keef could get plenty of satisfaction.

They just couldn’t keep it.

That’s the challenge for any of us.

Not getting it, but keeping it.

* * *

H/T Arthur C. Brooks

Pause. Look around you.

This is your life. This … is your life.

It’s not what was in the past.

It’s not what you’ve planned for the future.

It is what is now. Nothing less. Nothing more.

Lean in. Appreciate. Live. Love.

And if you seek change, change what’s now.

The past is fixed and the future is as unknown as it is unpredictable.

Focus on the now; now is your life.

There are more opportunities to become farmers than there are to become monarchs.

* * *

Sometimes we look at the fruits of someone’s labor and we think, “I want that too!”

But owning the harvest without working the fields … that model, with good reason, is rare.

“I want what they have” or “I want their luck” is an in-actionable perspective.

If instead, we pair wanting with working, we can move toward our goals.

We begin not with scepters, but with shovels and rakes.

A trusted adviser once encouraged me to ask my children, “When do you feel special?”

It’s the kind of question that — depending on the answer — could reveal quite a lot.

It can be a challenging question to field if one hasn’t given it much consideration, or if “feeling special” is unfamiliar territory.

Either way, the question is not just useful for children; it’s useful for adults, too.

How about you? When do you feel special?

In your personal practices — every so often — pick a superlative and see what happens.

Biggest. Smallest. Farthest. Fastest. Loudest. Thriftiest. Most elaborate.

It’s a different way of exploring new goals. When you approach the largest canvas you’ve ever worked with, or the shortest composition, or the longest run — but you release other typical expectations, like “best” or “quickest” or “most profitable” — then you’re able to build out a little island of safe experimentation.

Of the many knobs available, find just one and push its limit. See what you can learn.

How we deal with disappointment is often a reflection of our character.

What kind of emotions rise to the surface when you’re disappointed? More importantly, what do you do with them?

We can learn a lot about people by watching what they do when they’re disappointed. We can learn a lot about ourselves, too.

Look back. What went well? What didn’t? What did you learn?

Look forward. What do you want? What do you hope? What will you seek? What’s your plan?

* * *

What are you asking of this year?

Even more: What is it asking of you?

If you’re planning to begin a new habit tomorrow, don’t wait.

Do it today.

There’s tradition around New Year’s resolutions, but there’s power in being able to change your habits today, no matter where today is on the calendar.

Why not begin now?

If you can’t cook, maybe you can set the table. Or perhaps you can wash the dishes.

And if you can’t do those things, you might try to engage in a pleasant conversation.

A lack of ability or opportunity in one area doesn’t relegate you to idleness.

Seek to contribute. Even more, seek to be a contribution.

Sometimes the countless things outside of our control lead us forget the many things that are within our control.

As a colleague once advised, “Keep your house clean.”

What he meant was: just because other departments are chaotic or disorganized doesn’t mean you have to operate that way. Recognize the areas where you can create beauty and order, and make it so.

Whether a tiny footprint or a vast empire, where you have influence, create the world in which you seek to live.

Certain challenges and personal struggles can cause us to feel uncomfortable, ashamed, even isolated.

Surprisingly, when we’re courageous enough to reveal our vulnerabilities to others, we often learn that we are not alone. Quite the contrary.

If you cut your hand while chopping vegetables, the cause and effect will be clear.

If, on the other hand, you wake up in the middle of the night with nausea and an upset stomach … the cause might not be evident at all.

Was it something you ate? Are you sick? Is it your nerves? A new medicine?

When we don’t know the cause of something, we begin to craft a story in our minds. Like novice detectives or scientists, we piece together the story of what we believe to be true.

This happens outside of our personal health, too. We can easily find ourselves telling a story about why the country is the way it is, or why there are problems with the economy, or why we were or weren’t picked for something.

Whether we have evidence or not, we tell stories.

Be careful to recognize when you’ve woven together a story that has little basis in what’s actually known. Sometimes we tell a story so well that we forget it’s all invented.

When it comes to gifts, it’s hard to overstate the value of thoughtfulness.

Money, power, and influence — in the end — pale in comparison.

A gift without thought is a transaction.

A thoughtful gift, however, is a manifestation of love.

Part of the charm of tradition is in its familiarity. There’s comfort in shared customs. There’s a warmth to ritual.

And we can create new traditions too.

Even as we celebrate in the way we have for years, we can also imagine new, meaningful ways to honor the passage of time, the things we believe, and what we hold dear.

Our traditions are our own to create and repeat.

* * *

Love and peace to you and yours.

When we say we miss a thing (because a change has happened in time or circumstance) — often what we mean is that we miss the convenience of that thing.

For the things that matter to us, we change in response to the change. We travel the extra distance to the store’s new location, we adjust our schedule to attend the new weekly meeting time, we visit with the friend who has moved to a new town, we adjust to work in a smaller studio space …

When we don’t truly care, we don’t change.

When it matters to us, convenience is secondary.

Undoubtedly, there are one-time events that drastically alter our lives, for better or worse. Sometimes those events are a result of our actions. Other times, they’re consequences of chance or the actions of others.

But more often, the things that drastically alter our lives are things that play-out little by little over the course of a long time.

What’s remarkable is that we have significant influence over the little-by-little.

Small moments, small choices, small commitments, small wins — over time, they all add up.

We write the epic story, but we do it one word at a time.

I overheard this conversation between a hotel manager and member of the housekeeping staff:

“How was your weekend? Did you get to see the baby?”

“It was great. I had a nice time off and it was wonderful spending time with that little guy. How about you? Did you get away?”

It was a beautiful exchange. A testimony to the kind of work culture at this hotel.

These environments don’t happen accidentally; they’re created on purpose.

It’s the kind of culture we can all strive to build.

The sponsor form for the school club offered three options: $5, $10, or $20.

No blank line. No “other.” No flexibility.

Yes, one could donate more, but there wasn’t a prompt.

There’s value to defining goals and creating boundaries. When there are just a few options, it’s easier for us to choose … and more likely that we will.

But sometimes, it helps to remove the boundaries. To create an open space for others to fill in the blank. To intentionally include the possibility of what-if.

Besides: the most interesting things in life are a result of the blank lines, not from having selected the predetermined choices.