The goal isn’t to find a way to eliminate self-doubt.

The goal is to be confident, but to have enough self-doubt that you strive for better.

To have enough uncertainty that you are consciously in a state of improvement.

Not to be hindered by self-doubt or to be consumed by it … but just enough of it to keep you leaning forward. A kind of peaceful bias toward becoming ever-better.

We like to be invited. To be asked. To be picked.

It feels so good that we almost forget that we don’t have to be passive. We don’t have to wait.

We can create something. We can organize. We can take the first step.

Instead of waiting to be chosen, we can invite others. We can ask others. We can pick others.

If you’re waiting to be found … maybe it’s time that you do the finding.

Gather. Organize. Create.

You might be the source of the very thing you seek.

Following a workshop, I listened as another participant shared a personal reflection. The words were honest and unscripted. As she spoke, her eyes glistened.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes my eyes tear up when — for the first time — I recognize something that’s true about myself and I say it aloud.”

No apology necessary. What a beautiful thing to have witnessed.

As we pulled away from the house, my son asked with surprise, “Dad! Is this a race car?”

He was responding to the aggressive, throaty sound my engine had begun to make.

“No, buddy. It’s not supposed to sound this way. There’s a problem with the exhaust.”

* * *

We naturally draw conclusions from what we see and hear, but there are times when those are false signals. We perceive one thing but the reality is quite the opposite.

Also: the new muffler — which was subsequently installed — is not as exciting as you might think. Or rather, it’s exactly as exciting as you might think.

We don’t get what we want by yelling at the wrong people.

We get what we want by connecting with the right people.

Next time you’re feeling frustrated in a conversation, consider whether you should be talking to someone else. That “someone else” might even be you.

A friend sent a note with this perspective on finding purpose:

“Maps can only show you where others are and how they got there. If you’re going to find your way into your purpose, you need a compass and you need to learn how to use it.”

Thanks for the wisdom, Scott. It’s helpful to know the difference between maps and compasses — particularly during the many times in life when we’re trying to find our way and there’s no map to be found.

Be at peace with who you are.

Sure, you may want to be a little different.

Yes, you want to grow and improve.

But you are you. You are not someone else. You are you.

Don’t try to earn someone else’s badges. Earn your own. Or don’t.

Just begin with accepting who you are, right now, in this moment.

You are enough.

Let that live in your heart, and then continue in the direction you seek to go.

I shined a pair of shoes this morning. The effort was small but the results were quite noticeable.

The same energy spent on another part of my attire would probably be unremarkable.

Many times, just the right amount of effort in just the right places … makes all the difference.

What could you polish today?

I’ve seen this Eric Hoffer quote in many places and in different forms. It always seems to resonate.

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need.”

Wise words.

Here’s to more clarity and focus when it comes to the things that truly matter.

Last month, I took ninety minutes to organize the cables and wires underneath my desk. They are beautiful now.

Last week, I spent an hour organizing an overhead bin that had become littered with papers and miscellaneous items. It’s visually refreshing now.

And regularly, I’ll journal — just to get things out of my head. I always feel better afterwards.

I’m often surprised by the mental peace that comes from these simple activities.

The headspace that we gain by doing a little bit of interior management — mental and physical organizing and decluttering — that little bit of work pays huge dividends.

When conditions are less than ideal, and the body is not wanting to cooperate, and time is in short supply …

The amateur will use his last ounce of energy to generate excuses. In a final sprint, he will rationalize, blame, and quit.

But the professional chooses that same moment — with the same final bit of strength — to recommit, to dig deep, and to get the job done.

November 4, 2081. It seems so far away.

Sixty years into the future.

The increment is relevant to my family. Looking the other way — exactly sixty years ago today — was my parents’ wedding day.

* * *

Sometimes looking equally forward can give us perspective on how far we’ve come.

To my mom and dad, who are healthy, together, and faithful readers of this blog: Happy Anniversary! You are loved by many.

Bet on yourself.

Think big. Even bigger.

Aim high. Even higher.

“But what if it doesn’t work? What then?”

* * *

What if it does work? What then?

What has been given to you?

What have you earned?

What have you earned because of what has been given to you?

There’s a lot of overlap.

As much as we like to think there are things we’ve done all on our own … has any of it been without help?

Unlikely.

Even our most personal, hard-earned wins cannot list us singularly in the credits.

Whether today or long ago, there’s been help. There’s been generosity. And we’ve benefited.

We can do that for others, too.

Anyone can coach perfect players.

Anyone can manage flawless employees.

But those players and employees don’t exist.

The best coaches and managers are those who can cultivate greatness within an imperfect team.

It’s not a matter of replacing personnel with those who err less. It’s about seeing the team where they are … and growing, mediating, and coaching them into the team they could be.

Who you recruit is only the first step. Where you take them is the longer, more important work.

A smile can be a tragically convincing mask.

* * *

We don’t just wear masks on Halloween. We wear them all the time.

We are complex creatures. What’s on the outside can easily be at odds with what’s on the inside.

As much as you’re able, be sensitive to that.

The tricky part about being your best self is that it hasn’t happened yet.

The best version you know of … is not as good as what could be this very moment. Or the next.

Your best self is not in the past. It’s now, and it will be in the future too.

When kids draw a picture, they want to show you.

When they learn a song on an instrument, they want to play it for you.

When they pick up a new skill, they want to demonstrate it.

It’s completely natural. Learn and share. “Look what I can do!”

But as we get older, we become more self-conscious. More aware of how we compare to others. More hesitant to seek an audience.

Reconnect with that child-like wonder. Share your imperfect attempts. Not with offhanded self-deprecation, but with beginner’s delight.

There’s no shame in learning. Quite the opposite.

The lead vehicle in the Boston Marathon shows runners the route. That’s how it supports the athletes: showing the front of the pack where they need to run, turn by turn.

But wouldn’t it be even more helpful to just put those elite runners in the back of the truck and to carry them? They could all go a lot faster and it would guarantee no one would get lost.

And of course, giving a ride would not help at all. The whole point is to run, not ride.

* * *

There are many times when giving more help is no help at all. Many times when our challenge is to offer sufficient support and no more.

It’s hard. Because we often like to think that the more we can help, the better.

But that’s not always true. Sometimes “enough” is just right.

It might not be a problem of time, energy, or resources.

It might be that we just need a prompt to begin.

An invitation.

A countdown.

So here it is:

3 …

2 …

1 …

Go.

(What will you do now that the moment has arrived?)