“Yes, this is something we have to do.”

That’s great. You’ve identified a requirement.

But when? When does it need to be done?

In the next minute? Before you die?

My bet is that the answer is somewhere between those two moments in time.

Committing to when is nearly as important as identifying what needs to be done.

I was at the office late last night, and overheard the cleaning staff at work. The person with experience was speaking to a younger helper.

“No, that’s too much tea. They’re mostly coffee drinkers. Put these in.”

What was going on?

We have a single-serve brewer. In the cabinet, there are different types of coffees and teas, and on the counter there’s a rotating storage rack. What I discovered is that each night, the cleaning staff — without having been asked to do so — carefully and thoughtfully refills the display from the stores in the cabinet.

That extra dedication (when no one is looking) creates a tiny bit of magic in the morning ... as though the display replenishes itself overnight.

All of us can make magic like that in our spheres of influence. It doesn’t encourage laziness, and it doesn’t create entitlement. It just makes things a little easier for someone else. Call it generosity. Call it attention to detail. Today, I call it, “How Christie does her job” ... and it’s something to be appreciated.

In the car, I was listening to a song with a wide range of vocal levels. In order to hear the quietest parts, I had to increase the volume so that the loudest sections were uncomfortably loud. I was a little annoyed, but then I realized: this song wasn’t written to be enjoyed in a vehicle travelling at speed, with all the distractions of road noise and turn signals. This song was written for a more isolated, high-fidelity playback.

I’m certain that a good pair of headphones will give me the listening enjoyment I seek.

It got me thinking. How do we create moments of isolation where we can hear clearly? Where we can be present, and listen deeply?

A busy street corner is a challenging place to reconcile with a partner. A sporting event is a poor venue for listening to a teenage daughter’s challenges at school.

The worthwhile moments of isolation where we can connect — as though headphones have blocked out the ambient noise — those moments don’t always happen on their own. Sometimes, we have to create them.

Don’t seek recognition for every little thing you do.

Do good. Do it often … and so regularly that that it just becomes the way you do things. Not “you doing good”. Just, “you doing”.

Someone thanked me recently, and the words were sincere. The exchange filled my cup so much that my heart felt like it was going to burst.

Here’s the thing. That expression of gratitude was free. It cost the giver nothing, except a few generous words and some emotional labor.

For me? You couldn’t put a price on that gift.

Why don’t we give these types of gifts more often? The gift of thanks. The gift of heartfelt appreciation. The expression of gratitude.

Free for the giver. Invaluable for the recipient.

Some people try to maintain control (or the illusion of it) by dominating conversations. They speak in such a way that leaves little room for others to contribute.

These occasions are sometimes called “one-sided conversations” but it’s a bit of a misnomer.

The other side of the conversation happens indeed — in the mind of the stifled participant.

Opposite the incessant speaker is the listener’s internal monologue, and it’s firing away ... regardless of whether one can get a word in.

Sometimes we make a mistake that we can’t fix. We make an error. There’s an accident. We’re careless. Something happens, we’re at fault, and there’s no “undo”. This can happen in many ways, big and small.

How do we move forward? (“Forward” is an important word since going back in time — though quite desirable — is never an option.)

So, what to do?

One, we sincerely apologize … if that’s even an option. Two, we do whatever we can to not repeat the error. And three, we move forward in a way that’s worthy of someone who knows that mistakes happen, and who knows the awful sting of regret. To honestly lean into that third element means having a heart of forgiveness and understanding when we’re on the other side of the equation.

* * *

Post script: in thinking about this a bit more, it’s worth mentioning: forgiving yourself — the idea of self-compassion — that’s also an important step. That one might even be the most difficult.

In my experience, the least skilled contractors are most likely to point out what they’ve done right. They will take you through a project, identifying all the things that meet spec, and taking special note of details that are “above and beyond” expectations.

By contrast, the most skilled contractors — the professionals — they don’t do this. They masterfully craft details that may never be seen. They consistently apply their expertise to things that will be visible to the customer, as well as areas that are hidden. Their quality is through and through, and they don’t seek out special recognition. They do the job properly — all of it. Most of the time, there aren’t “special details” to point out because all the details are special.

The sun was beginning to set as I drove past some aging, metal outbuildings on a nearby farm. The buildings were not pretty. They were not charming. And yet ...

And yet the sun, as it can so marvelously do, transformed the landscape into a glorious painting. Those buildings had never looked so magical. For a fleeting moment, all the beauty they possessed was on display for the world.

The important point is that light changes things. Physical light, and metaphorical light. The right piece of understanding. The posture of empathy. The approach of curiosity. Just a bit of any of these has the power to change the world dramatically.

What do you do when the rescue crew doesn’t come? When you don’t wake up from the bad dream?

It happens more often than not. The magic fixer doesn’t show up out of the blue and make all your troubles disappear.

So what do you do?

You take a deep breath. You stand up, and you push forward. You advocate for yourself. You pick yourself. You save yourself.

You stop telling yourself the story that you’re a victim ... and you start telling yourself a better story. One where you’re a fighter. One where you’re resilient. One where you chart your own future, and it’s filled with beauty, generosity, and contentment. Not a future that’s given to you ... but a future that’s of your own design. The one you seek, and the one you make.

What’s in the way of your greatness?

Is there a novel in you? A painting? A new business? An academic pursuit? Something else?

Are you working toward it, each day? Half an hour? Maybe an hour?

Do you somehow find time for scrolling social media? Watching internet memes? Consuming whatever bit of news the home page provides?

It would be a shame to look back one day, and think, “I could have ... but I made time for the trivial things instead.”

A good excuse and an apology do nothing to help get a job done.

Doing the work. Committing to the task. Persevering. These things are what contribute to forward progress.

When faced with the options of “getting it done” and “having an excuse and an apology” … those are not equal, viable paths. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.

As schools let out for summer, it’s report card time. Many students hope for straight “A”s. But the “A”s that matter most are not found on report cards. They’re found within words like learning, understanding, empathy, and compassion.

Sometimes we’re exhausted at the end of a project. A workshop ends, and we’re drained.

But sometimes, the feeling is different. Sometimes our accomplishments infuse us with excited anticipation, and the feeling of, “What’s next? Let’s go!”

Whenever you can engage with experiences like that — the kind that empower and embolden — embrace those opportunities and leap.

Once you add water to Portland cement powder, you’ve got to move. You have to mix. You have to be ready to pour and apply. There’s limited time before the cement hardens. The clock is ticking.

And so you focus, and you get the job done. You can’t delay. You have to focus.

* * *

Are there things that you’ve been putting off, that just need a little push? They just need that first step that forces you to carry out the rest of the task? Like water poured into the cement mix?

Maybe it’s picking up the phone and dialing. Maybe it’s driving to the gym. Maybe it’s asking for professional help.

Whatever it is — that tipping point that will put important things into motion — figure it out, and take that first step. Push yourself into action. You can do it.

Yesterday morning, there was a long line of cars behind me at a red light.

Across the intersection, I saw someone who needed to turn left ... across my path.

Having seen people stuck there before, I waited for the light to turn green, and I flashed my lights.

I waved visibly. “You can go. Go ahead and turn. C’mon now. You’ll be stuck there.”

Nothing.

The driver wasn’t paying attention. She was lost in her own world of being stuck trying to turn.

What could I do? I had to move on.

* * *

She’s not alone of course. Sometimes we don’t see help, and sometimes we don’t even look for it.

Even now. It’s quite possible that someone is trying to help you in some way, and you’re just not seeing it.

Who surrounds you? What are those relatives, friends, colleagues, and associates like?

More importantly, who stays top-of-mind?

Do you spend more time thinking about a bitter neighbor, or about an encouraging friend?

A gossiping coworker, or a caring mentor?

A much as you can, surround yourself — physically and mentally — with the people that are cheering for you. The people who want you to succeed. They’re the ones that matter most.

And the detractors? They’ll show up from time to time. You don’t need to help their cause by letting them occupy your mind when they’re not around.

When nobody likes your idea …

Either your idea is not as good as you think it is, or the timing isn’t quite right.

It could be that you haven’t found the right people … the people who will love your idea. The people who will support it. Even help it to spread.

So before you take others’ lack of interest to heart … if you truly believe in your idea, then see it through. Give it all you’ve got.

For now, it’s not about them. It’s about you and your vision.

If we want to find a distraction, we can. Very easily. At any time.

But it’s worth considering: why do we seek to escape? What are we avoiding?

What happens when we consciously block out the distractions, and we let ourselves focus on what’s most important? What happens then?

How prominent is the asterisk in the work you do? How much time do you spend apologizing for the flaws and pointing out the shortcomings?

Here’s an invitation: stop. Everyone deals with limitations and constraints. Time, resources, skill ... there’s rarely as much as we’d want.

But you don’t have to apologize. You don’t need a footnote saying, “This is the best I could do given the challenges I faced.”

Do your best. Be your best. Ship your best. No apologies.

Besides: tomorrow’s work will be even better.