We have to make an assessment when we see a vacant lane.

Is it vacant because it’s a poor choice?

Or is it vacant because all the newcomers get into the same lanes with everyone else?

Of course, I’m not just talking about the market, the museum, or the roadway.

It’s bigger than that. It’s culture. It’s science. It’s technology.

Those who dance on the edges (as Seth likes to say)... they don’t get into long lines.

They forge new paths, and the lines form behind them.

The sun doesn’t ask permission to shine. It doesn’t restrain itself for fear of rejection. It gives generously, and spreads warmth to those who seek its radiance.

Don’t wait for an invitation to shine. Just do it, and be marvelous in what you do.

Would you change what you’re currently doing — this very moment — if your mentor was observing you?

The best part about this mental exercise is that your mentor can be imagined. It can be the mentor you’ve always wanted. A great mind, living or dead. A leader that you know only through what you’ve read. Even a fictional character.

So. Now that you know your mentor is watching... what are you going to do?

Digital messaging has changed the way we communicate. But perhaps texts can teach us something about how we speak to each other. How we listen and respond.

We need to take turns for communication to work well.

When someone is speaking, it’s tempting to begin formulating a response before the speaker is finished. And sometimes, we stop listening while we carefully craft our own words.

While the speaker is relaying A, B, C, D... we start to generate a response. Then, when we know our position... H, I, J, K.

And now we’ve missed three letters.

Just like the speaker at the podium asks us to hold our applause until the last name has been read, there are times when it’s best for us to let the speaker finish relaying her thoughts before we decide how we’d like to respond.

Just like a text message. When you see that someone is replying, hang on a second: something’s incoming.

The concept of “as soon as possible” is problematic. When someone asks me to, “take care of it ASAP” and I clarify, “drop everything and handle it right now?” I’m usually met with the response, “Well... no. Just sometime today. Actually, tomorrow would be fine.”

Sometimes we use phrases that imply immediacy when we really mean, “coordinated with other priorities.”

Setting a clear timeline is more useful. If you need something done by close-of-business, just say so.

And if you need something done immediately, you can say, “now.”

Maybe you like the swagger of saying A-SAP. If that’s the case, maybe “STAT” is the new, appropriate word for you (it’s from statim, meaning “immediately”).

But if you’re not running an emergency room, be careful not to overuse it.

At a buffet-style meal, you’ll often see someone sit down with a plate of food, and moments later... stand up.

“Ah... napkin.”

The napkin is a small, but important detail that is often overlooked until the very last moment, right when it’s needed.

* * *

Whether it’s a napkin, a passport, batteries, or a pair of glasses... the need can surely be anticipated with a little thought. Some start-to-finish consideration of the task at hand.

Otherwise, you’ll often find yourself standing up just as you’ve tucked in to get started.

There are always people willing to discuss a problem — to break it into tiny pieces and examine the parts.

But many times, we don’t need more contributors to the discussion; we need problem-solvers and decision-makers.

More directly: there comes a time when we need to stop editing treatises about the problems and start drafting the effective solutions.

Among people whose facial expressions are accurately telltale, there are two expressions you often see in an audience, right before a show is about to begin.

The first expression is of anticipated delight. They’re ready to be entertained. They’re pleasantly poised to enjoy what they’re about to witness.

The second expression — you guessed it — is that of anticipated disappointment. Even before the lights go up, they’re expecting a dud.

* * *

It makes me think of how we approach various situations in life, and how our default attitude — our positive or negative anticipation — can color our experiences. If you’re looking to be disappointed, you can probably make that happen. And if you’re hoping to be delighted, you’ll probably find something delightful.

It doesn’t start with the experience; it starts with you.

Sometimes — whether we do it intentionally or not — we offer a “good enough” version of our work.

We might even offer a version of our work that could be called “excellent”.

But it’s much less often that we do our very best work. Our “pull out all the stops, leave nothing in the tank” work.

That kind of work — the work that brings to bear all of our talents, skills, resources, and best judgement — that level of work requires such intellectual, emotional, and physical labor, that it can be intimidating to even consider.

But we owe it to ourselves to do it from time to time. To find a worthy cause, and to give it our all. To not just do excellent work, but to do our very best work.

If every student on a wintry school field trip brought two coats, and one student had none, surely someone would offer her extra coat to the student in need.

And if all the students brought two lunches, and one student brought nothing, surely that child would not go hungry. Someone would share.

And yet when we zoom out — when we consider our community, our region, and our world — we can forget that we’re all on one big field trip. We live in this world together. And (particularly when we’re not “seated together on the bus”) it’s easy to forget that we have two coats and two lunches, and that some of our classmates are cold and hungry.

Small minds are sometimes paired with big mouths.

So let’s do our part to spread the ideas that come from great minds. After all, those great minds can sometimes have quiet voices.

But we don’t need to amplify; louder is not always better.

No. We need to distribute. To spread the ideas.

Let’s populate our culture with the ideas and values that come from the best of ourselves.

Person to person. Small group to small group. Little by little.

Do you sigh audibly?

Do you shut drawers loudly?

Are you seeking attention because you’re stressed?

We know. We know you have a lot to do. We know you’re under pressure. We know it’s not fair.

But that energy you’re using to express your frustration is not helping the tasks at hand.

That energy will be better spent tackling the workload that’s gotten you so upset.

And if you need help... just ask. But don’t ask for help by sighing. Ask using words.

Inside each of us, we have the entire spectrum of personality traits. They’re balanced in a particular way, of course, but they’re all in there.

So when trouble comes knocking... when we’re faced with a setback... when we’re challenged or threatened...

Who do we send to answer the door?

• Anger?

• Passivity?

• Aggression?

• Patience?

• Empathy?

• Creativity?

It might take practice, but if we want to, we can choose who answers the door...

...no matter who is doing the knocking.

You can practice, and practice, and practice, and still screw up when it counts.

Nailing a song during rehearsal is not the same as giving a flawless performance.

Sinking a putt on Thursday is not the same as draining a putt on Sunday to win the Masters.

Delivering a speech in the mirror is not the same as speaking in front of thousands.

When we watch professionals at work, they often make it look easy. What’s easy, however, is ignoring what it takes to get things right at just the right time... when it counts.

Sometimes, we wait for encouragement. We wait to be discovered. We wait to be picked.

Every once in a while, we take a peek around the corner, hoping to be noticed.

But why wait for someone to give you words of encouragement? Give them to yourself.

You’re waiting to be discovered? Discover yourself.

Don’t be a victim of silence if that’s all you’re getting. Be your own advocate. Tell yourself what you need to hear, and get going.

“Piling on” is a term used when someone joins in the (typically unfair) criticism of someone who is already being assailed. It’s a cheap way to get a laugh, or to demonstrate affiliation with the group dealing out the mockery.

Piling on, in this sense, is pretty common.

But what about piling on in a good sense?

• With kindness?

• With generosity?

• With compassion?

• With praise?

• With encouragement?

Let’s use our tendency to join-in… to contribute to the good stuff. Go ahead and pile on, but do it with the things that make a positive impact.

How do you deal with the shame of your past?

The regrets?

The humiliations?

It all has to do with the story you tell yourself.

You can say that your past experiences have forever ruined you. That your life wasn’t supposed to be this way. That you were wronged.

Or, you can say that your past experiences have given you unique perspectives. That your life is beautifully imperfect. That you’ve had inflection points, but that you are stronger for having survived them, better for having experienced them, and that the very best days are yet to come.

Whichever story you tell yourself... you’ll be right.

I was recently thinking about how some things circulate, and some things don’t.

Our blood circulates. That’s an easy one to recognize. Something goes into the system, and it gets distributed.

Then I thought of things that don’t circulate. Like rivers. Something goes into the system, and it flushes downstream. Gone.

Except, of course, rivers do circulate. Water molecules do, anyhow. Earth’s water cycle just has a slower path, through evaporation and precipitation.

So when we’re impatient about an idea spreading... When we think our work isn’t circulating... it might be true. But it’s possible that the cycle is just longer than we had anticipated.

Thankfulness requires reflection, but it also calls for action.

“I am thankful for _______, and so I ought to _______.”

It’s the second part that tests how honest we are about the first part.

Sometimes, deliberate, decisive action is favorable, compared to a deliberate, tentative approach.

A few examples...

The person who intentionally trots down a loose gravel decline is less likely to slip than the person stiffly shuffling, inch by inch.

A full gallon of milk, tipped ever so cautiously, will result in milk pouring down the side of the container long before it reaches the glass.

And you could go through a whole box of matches — each with an unsure swipe across the strike-plate — and not produce a single flame.

Sometimes, it’s the swift, sure-footed motion that’s needed.

* * *

Likewise, don’t flirt with the edge of the embankment at the swimming hole of opportunity. You’ll slip. You’ll get hurt.

No. When the opportunity is right, we need to leap.

Not toe-dip. Not hem and haw.

Leap.