Reasonable wants

Sometimes, we seek something different, compared to what someone is offering. We want different response. A different attitude. A different way of engaging.

Other times, what we actually seek is for someone to be a different kind of person, compared to who they are. We want a different sensibility. A different natural tendency. A different personality.

Said another way, “I want you to act differently,” versus, “I want you to be a different person.”

There’s only room for negotiation in one of these situations.

Yes, we can sometimes convince people to change their mind. It’s not as likely that we will be able to change who they are — and certainly not in the short term.

Plan accordingly and measure your expectations.