Sometimes, we wait for encouragement. We wait to be discovered. We wait to be picked.

Every once in a while, we take a peek around the corner, hoping to be noticed.

But why wait for someone to give you words of encouragement? Give them to yourself.

You’re waiting to be discovered? Discover yourself.

Don’t be a victim of silence if that’s all you’re getting. Be your own advocate. Tell yourself what you need to hear, and get going.

“Piling on” is a term used when someone joins in the (typically unfair) criticism of someone who is already being assailed. It’s a cheap way to get a laugh, or to demonstrate affiliation with the group dealing out the mockery.

Piling on, in this sense, is pretty common.

But what about piling on in a good sense?

• With kindness?

• With generosity?

• With compassion?

• With praise?

• With encouragement?

Let’s use our tendency to join-in… to contribute to the good stuff. Go ahead and pile on, but do it with the things that make a positive impact.

How do you deal with the shame of your past?

The regrets?

The humiliations?

It all has to do with the story you tell yourself.

You can say that your past experiences have forever ruined you. That your life wasn’t supposed to be this way. That you were wronged.

Or, you can say that your past experiences have given you unique perspectives. That your life is beautifully imperfect. That you’ve had inflection points, but that you are stronger for having survived them, better for having experienced them, and that the very best days are yet to come.

Whichever story you tell yourself... you’ll be right.

I was recently thinking about how some things circulate, and some things don’t.

Our blood circulates. That’s an easy one to recognize. Something goes into the system, and it gets distributed.

Then I thought of things that don’t circulate. Like rivers. Something goes into the system, and it flushes downstream. Gone.

Except, of course, rivers do circulate. Water molecules do, anyhow. Earth’s water cycle just has a slower path, through evaporation and precipitation.

So when we’re impatient about an idea spreading... When we think our work isn’t circulating... it might be true. But it’s possible that the cycle is just longer than we had anticipated.

Thankfulness requires reflection, but it also calls for action.

“I am thankful for _______, and so I ought to _______.”

It’s the second part that tests how honest we are about the first part.

Sometimes, deliberate, decisive action is favorable, compared to a deliberate, tentative approach.

A few examples...

The person who intentionally trots down a loose gravel decline is less likely to slip than the person stiffly shuffling, inch by inch.

A full gallon of milk, tipped ever so cautiously, will result in milk pouring down the side of the container long before it reaches the glass.

And you could go through a whole box of matches — each with an unsure swipe across the strike-plate — and not produce a single flame.

Sometimes, it’s the swift, sure-footed motion that’s needed.

* * *

Likewise, don’t flirt with the edge of the embankment at the swimming hole of opportunity. You’ll slip. You’ll get hurt.

No. When the opportunity is right, we need to leap.

Not toe-dip. Not hem and haw.

Leap.

Once, after our flight landed, I noticed an acquaintance take one last sip and then toss his empty water bottle onto the seat.

Knowing the answer, I still asked, “Hey. Is that your trash?”

“Oh, they’ll take care of that.”

I ended up taking care of it, putting the bottle into a recycling bin in the terminal.

It’s true: the flight attendants would have taken care of it. But why add to their burden? Why not take responsibility for our own mess?

The experience made me consider the idea of “they’ll take care of that” as a general worldview.

• The mechanic... will take care of topping-off fluids.

• The caterer... will take care of the dirty dishes.

• The township... will take care of fixing the potholes.

• The teacher... will take care of educating my kids.

• The church... will take care of the poor.

• The government... will take care of the pollution.

• The oppressed... will take care of fixing their own situation.

It’s easy to see how “they’ll take care of that” doesn’t always work.

Sometimes, it’s plainly wrong.

Sometimes we play a wrong note during a performance.

Or we stumble over a word while delivering a speech.

The mistake isn’t important; the recovery is what matters.

Do you keep the meter steady? Do you reset the cadence?

Or do you pull the emergency brake? Stop and grumble? Make a verbal apology?

The professional doesn’t live without error; she just recovers in a way that seems effortless. As a result, no one pays attention to the mistakes… if they’re even noticed at all.

If you come to a creative roadblock with the thought, “I’m not sure I have anything to say. I’m not confident that I have something to put into the world,” then perhaps you’re not engaged with the world.

To create engaging work, we start by doing the engaging. From that will come work that is compelling, and worthy of attention.

So when your mind seems blank (it’s not, of course) go engage. Talk to someone. Interact.

Encounter brings new life. New ideas. New understanding. New inspiration.

One of the problems with missing a deadline is that once you’re late, the tension is released.

There’s no longer a rush to beat the clock. It’s overdue.

And for some missed deadlines, there’s nothing else you can do.

Like missing a flight, once you’ve missed it, you can’t miss it any worse. The plane is gone.

But…

There are some projects and goals that tolerate a bit of flexibility.

If you’re past your mark, set a revised timeline. Do it right away. Put a new due date on the calendar.

Keep some tension in the equation. Some healthy pressure on yourself. If you don’t, you might become practiced in absolving yourself for missed deadlines, and that’s a downward cycle.

So when you can, re-calibrate, and meet that next deadline.

If you’re going to be reading a list of names in public, learn how the names are pronounced. If you’re unsure, ask someone who knows. Take phonetic notes if necessary.

It doesn’t matter how long the list is. Learn each name as though it’s the only one being read.

Here’s the thing: if the event organizers have called for a name to be read aloud, isn’t the critical first step to learn how the name is said?

Do it justice. Read it right.

When you’re waiting for a meeting to begin (that’s right: because you’re a pro and you’ve arrived early) why sit quietly?

Start a conversation.

Don’t talk about the weather.

Share an amusing story.

Discuss something relevant.

Connect.

Don’t scroll through your phone looking at banal posts and emails you don’t intend to read.

Make a connection. In person. With words.

It might be easier than you think.

I love how a voice is unknown until it is heard.

Consider a person in a certain venue, wearing certain clothes, with a certain face, and a certain body-type.

And an uncertain voice; its qualities are unknown.

Until she speaks.

Only then does one hear the timbre of her voice. The way the sound resonates. The language she speaks. The accent she carries.

Her voice may be quite different from what the eyes had anticipated.

It’s the same with art. Until you paint... Until you write... Until you sing... Until you produce... Your voice (and all its nuance) is unknown.

Break the silence. Let your voice do what it’s meant to do. Let it be heard.

Someone will find your work worthless, and he will ignore it. Worse, he might choose to share his opinion with others.

OK. We have that established.

Now, what are you going to do?

Are you going to let the opinion of someone else — an opinion that cost nothing to give, but will cost you everything to absorb — will you let that opinion stifle you?

Or will you recognize that your work... your heartfelt, passionate work... is not so mediocre and unremarkable that it will be accepted universally?

That your work is different? That it will resonate with some, and not with others?

Ignore the critics; they don’t care about your journey.

Besides: your work was never for them in the first place.

Mindless scrolling, reality television, alcohol... whatever it is...

They’re all (quietly) saying, “For now, working toward your goals can wait.”

They’re wrong. They’re lying.

A few minutes turns into a few hours.

A few days turns into a few weeks.

Then months. Then years.

Do the hard thing, and work on your project. Do something that gets you closer to achieving your long-term goals.

All those distractions that told you, “your work can wait...” well, they will wait for you.

The distractions will always wait for you.

Your goals... your dreams... they don’t always wait. Go after them.

When someone requests your opinion while pointing a proverbial gun to your head, he is asking for the answer he wants to hear. It has nothing to do with soliciting your thoughtful perspective, and it has nothing to do with seeking truth. Respond carefully.

Vehicle operators are taught that over-correction can make a problem worse.

If you’re drifting to one side, and you shift quickly to the center, disaster can occur. That abrupt steering can cause the vehicle to lurch out of control.

Gentle maneuvering provides more predictable results.

The same can be said about our daily habits, our interactions, and our personal endeavors.

Erratic piloting could result in loss of control, or a rebound in the direction you were avoiding.

Even if you’re headed in the wrong direction, you don’t want to make a U-turn at full speed. You need to start by laying off the accelerator, and maybe even applying the brakes.

So be sure to adjust carefully. Turn deliberately when necessary, and mind your trajectory.

We count to 100 with children.

We ring-in the new millennium.

We celebrate a 40th birthday.

We watch the odometer turn from 99999.9 to 100000.0.

We announce our first million dollars in orders.

Markers in time. Round numbers. We stop to say, “Look how far we’ve come!”

But it’s not really a stop; it’s a pause. A recognition. A breath. A joyous sound. And then, with determination, we resume.

After all, we weren’t built to stop. We were built to keep going, and we will do just that. Head held high with pride, or head dipped low with grit… we will keep going.

In the northeast United States, it’s the time of year that homes start to need heat. All across the region, people are raising temperatures inside their dwellings.

Many will feel hot air blowing through ducts. Others will stoke fires in stoves or even in open fireplaces.

Some — I say dreamily — will hear the soft 'ping-tink' sounds of hydronic radiators. They’ll feel warmth as hot water passes through welcoming cast iron benches. They’ll feel a heat that somehow reminds them of their childhood.

As it turns out, the delivery matters. A particular form of heat is nostalgic for one person, and institutional for another. Same temperatures... different experiences. The delivery matters.

* * *

It’s true with content, too:

• Cluttered text on wrinkled copy paper is not the same as carefully arranged type on a clean, toothy piece of stock.

• Monotone reading is not the same as a thoughtfully metered recitation with meaningful pauses and dynamics.

• A low-resolution list of specifications is not the same as a crisp, clean datasheet.

The content is important, for sure. But the delivery is where the magic happens. The delivery is about the experience of the readers, viewers, and listeners. The content matters, but it’s often the delivery that makes change happen.

In some ways, voting is like sport.

Winning is certainly a motivator; we want our candidates to win. We want our motions and resolutions to pass. However, there’s also the thrill of participating/fighting/competing/contributing.

We are disappointed when the majority doesn’t vote as we do, but it doesn’t stop us from voting.

Win or lose, we vote because we can, and because we have a voice that needs to be heard.

Teams aren’t just determined by a mess of blurry party lines. There are two, clearly defined teams which transcend the fray: voters and non-voters.

Be on the right team. When you have the privilege and freedom to do so, vote.